Empathy Isn’t Weak—It’s a Power Move
There’s no shortage of articles, books, and TED Talks about leadership—and for good reason. Every one of us brings our own history and perspective to the table, shaped by experiences both leading and being led. That means there’s no single “right” way to lead. But what’s always worthwhile? Taking a fresh look at things from a different angle. My hope is that readers and clients find something useful in these reflections—something that resonates, challenges, or maybe even sparks change.
One theme I keep returning to is a cornerstone of strategic leadership that’s often misunderstood—or worse, brushed aside. We tend to throw around leadership terms that sound good but don’t always say much about how a person actually leads.
Take emotional intelligence, for example. It’s a buzzword with real depth, but many either gloss over it or don’t stop to ask: What does this actually look like in practice?
So here’s a challenge:
Think of a leader you’ve worked with. What did they do that demonstrated emotional intelligence?
Not what they claimed, not what their resume said—how did it show up in the room?
(Go ahead and leave a comment below—I’d love to hear your thoughts.)
Now, if you’re struggling to come up with a clear example, you’re not alone. It’s harder than it should be. So let’s start with a building block: empathy.
Empathy (noun): the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
Sounds simple, right? But in the context of leadership, empathy isn’t just about caring—it’s about considering. It means walking into a conversation, negotiation, or high-stakes meeting and asking yourself:
“What do the people across the table actually need to succeed?”
This question can be transformative. It's not a soft skill—it’s a strategic one.
I’ve worked with many executives who get this intuitively. I’ve also worked with plenty who see this kind of thinking as weak, subservient, or a quick way to lose control of a conversation. But here’s the truth: beginning with empathy is a sign of strength. It requires confidence and clarity. And it can shift the entire energy of a meeting.
I’ve witnessed this firsthand. I've seen tense meetings, where everyone walked in bracing for a battle, get completely flipped by one leader who starts with, “What’s most important to you in this conversation?” It’s disarming. It’s surprising. And it works.
Now, I know some leaders operate with a “winner vs. loser” mindset—every deal, every meeting, every outcome must have a victor. If that’s your approach and it’s working for you, carry on. But if you’re looking to grow as a strategic leader, consider the power of creating mutual wins. That doesn’t mean you give up your goals or abandon your agenda. It means you lead from a place that invites alignment, not just compliance.
Try it out. Walk into your next meeting with the goal of understanding their objectives first. Then take time afterward to reflect:
How did it feel?
Did it shift the tone or outcome?
What surprised you?
And if you’d like to explore how this approach might apply to a tricky situation you’re facing, I’m happy to talk it through. Send me a note at jonathan@discoverstrategies.com to set up a free consultation.
Your mission still matters. So does theirs. Let’s build something that supports both.